in which Frank struts his stuff

Frank's the guy in my office who doesn't want me to forget that I am a miserable dumbass at times. If he would just leave me alone, everything would be fine. But ooh no. Maybe I'm an idiot, though. I probably am. I'm an idiot.

Frank went on vacation without even telling me. I got to my desk and on my laptop are two books he borrowed like a YEAR ago. I thought he'd donated them to hell and I wouldn't see them for a pretty long time. When a coworker mentioned that he was on vacation, I asked where he went. "Nowhere," she said. "He's just going to work on his yard." I know. It's none of my business what the guy does, right? Right.

I just can't figure out when I'm supposed to give a fuck about what he does. Sometimes he won't leave me alone. He wants to tell me ALL about what a goddamn historian he is, and how he should have been a history teacher. He can go on for hours about that. I'm supposed to LISTEN to that crap! And I do, too!

I don't give him a cold stare every time he makes a comment about my looks or how happy he is that I decided to come in that day, or when he asks me to take lunch with him. No, I laugh good-naturedly because I really do like him. If I didn't, I'd tell him to go fuck himself next time he BEGS me not to cut my hair. I'd throw my elbow at his groin next time he comes over to me and touches my arm while he makes a statement about the printer acting up.

I did make a mistake on New Year's Eve. I guess I bruised his pride or something, who the hell knows, because he's a man, and I have never been able to understand any of them.

Today, he's strutting around our office like he got one over on me. I said that I hoped he had enjoyed his vacation. "OOOOOOOhhhh I DID.... Yeah, I just worked on the yard, (sniff) got some boulders back there, little landscaping." I said that sounded fine, just fine, and it all probably looks so much better now, he must be feeling a grand sense of accomplishment about the whole thing. Yeah, he said, he did. It was just relaxing, ya know. Yeah. I turned BACK around to my WORK, because if he thinks I'm doing anymore fishing for attention, he is wrong, wrong, wrong.

"So, MH. What did you do last week? I probably should have given you a call to see if you wanted to catch a movie or something, geeeeez, I'm sorry." Come on, now. Why can't Frank just leave me alone? Have you ever heard of a guy who has been flirting shamelessly for almost a year, he has ZERO action anywhere else in his life, but can't come out and say what he REALLY thinks? It's so frustrating.

This was my cue to say something like, Oh, yeah you should have caaaaalled me. But it's time for me to take a stand. I'm not going to whine around ( him ) when he oh geeeeeeez doesn't call me. I simply said, "Okie dokie, I've got so much work to do out in the field! I'll see you tomorrow!" And gave him one of my ever-so-friendly smiles.