Monday, March 12, 2007

Hate it when I don't have a point

There was a horrible car accident on my street today. Well, ok, it was a fender bender. It all happened because some idiot was jay-walking, the drivers coming around the curve were racing because they had just gotten their green light, and screeeeech craaaaack they went. The jay-walker stood there, dumbly surveying the scene until someone told her in spanish that the policia would hold her responsible. She disappeared after that. The cops did show up but I never got to find out who would get the ticket. I love the inevitable "who-is-getting-the-ticket" speculation that goes on every time people gather to stare at a wreck... why do we always do that? We are all such know-it-alls, too. The lady who slammed on her brakes to miss the jay-walker REFUSED to get out of her old Jeep Cherokee. Sorry, GRAND Cherokee. She couldn't move her neck. She was probably scared she was going to get the ticket. So traffic was further delayed by the ambulances and the fire trucks. It struck me as ridiculous. I live on a one-way street. Two blocks down, going the one way, is a fire station. When the firemen got the call, they came barreling out of the station, drove the correct way down our street, and turned. They went AROUND the block, and probably close to six blocks out of their way in order to get to the wreck that was actually only two blocks from the station.

That's why I want to live in this little log cabin I took a picture of on our way back from "Up North." See the little bridge over the little stream? It would probably only take a day or two for this ol' girl to mend it. Wonder if there is a Home Depot anywhere around there? Oh well, I can just cut down a tree if I need any lumber, right? I'll have to remember to bring my axe. ax? First I'll have to remember how to spell it. Anyway, I just can't wait to turn into an Ingalls. It's been my dream ever since I watched my first episode of Little House. I swear, there is an episode of Little House for EVERY situation in life. Someone steals your ax? Laura probably saw him, he was her friend, so she didn't tell on him. But after she goes fishing with Pa, she finally tells him about it, and Pa confronts the kid later. Pa takes the kid to the kid's Pa so they can all learn a good lesson, only the kid's Pa is a total drunk jerk-off, why the hell do you think the kid was stealing an axe? So Pa punches the guy out, and then the guy has a seizure, so they have to run and get Doc Baker out of bed. Doc Baker puts the guy in a big tub of ice since he has a fever, spends a few hours in there, and emerges, shaking his head, saying that the guy will need a "transfusion." Pa turns out to have the same type of blood, so he gives him his lifesaving transfusion. When the guy wakes up, he decides that he started drinking because his wife died a few years ago and we all feel sorry for him. But he decides never to EVER touch the stuff again, and the boy won't be stealing anymore axes, that's for sure. See how easy that is? We all learn something.

Ok, I feel like a complete ass for leaving Nellie Oleson out, but I'm sure I'll have another opportunity to include her in another important life lesson at some point.

As far as my raise is concerned, I'm still waiting for it. It will be a huge relief to finally get a teeny bit extra, I have to say. I just got a notice that I've been paying my cable and electric bills one month late. Not sure how that happened. My system has been as follows: Look at my bank account online. Look to see when I last paid Bill X. Oh, one month ago today? Look to see if I actually have any cash in the bank. That's probably where things started to get confusing. Everything would have been FINE if I would have stuck with my usual habit of not opening my mail. At least I've cut down on my eating. Today, knowing full well that I didn't have any money in the bank, I drove over to my office JUST to get the bag of Mini Mounds candy bars I had in my desk drawer. Somebody left them on my desk around Christmas time, I never found out who. I think it must have been an accident, but the second I saw them, I was sure to put them in my drawer, damn STRAIGHT! Anyhow. I paced and paced around my kitchen, looking in the cupboards and the fridge. The fridge is not the place to look if you are hungry, though, because not only is there NOTHING edible in there, what is in there would make anyone lose their appetite. Right now, I have a bottle of cheap BBQ sauce, used one time around a year ago, some zucchini that is about halfway blackened and liquified, two moldy lemons, and two putrid cartons of Silk. See why I had to go clear to the office to get something to eat? I'm full now.

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