Thursday, June 7, 2007

More bitching about people

I guess I must have been depressed yesterday. Cruelty brings me down. People can be such assholes sometimes. Why am I burdened with this sense of sadness when I see suffering right in front of me? Why am I ever the only person around who DOES anything when it is happening? If I could shut the emotion off, I definitely would. It makes life hard.

Last year I was walking across a busy street at rush hour. I witnessed a woman step off the corner I was approaching and a truck slammed right into her. She FLEW through the air. There was blood everywhere. There were hundreds, maybe thousands of people around. She was sprawled out in the middle of the street and NOBODY but me stopped to help. Cars just kept driving past. The guy who hit her parked at the end of the block and just stood around waiting for the cops I guess. It seemed like forever before the paramedics came. The woman was in and out of consciousness, moaning; trying to talk, but it didn't matter because I don't speak spanish and she didn't speak english. I held her hands, tried to calm her when she tried to sit up and couldn't, and yelled at other people to stop staring and do something. The hot summer pavement was cooking her skin, so I somehow got a towel from a driver waiting at the light and got it beneath her. When the paramedics came, I looked around and it appeared that everyone seemed to be feeling inconvenienced at least, curious at best.

When I got back to the office, I as all bloody. My clothes were ruined. The smell made me sick. I thought, "Maybe that's why nobody wanted to help. They knew they'd stink for the rest of the day."

That's why someday I'm going to find a peaceful place to live.

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