Monday, January 21, 2008

good thing I don't have an ego problem

because if I did, I'd probably have to get more professional help after listening to my brother's diatribe. Sigh. He means well, I guess.

He is considering allowing a certain transaction to take place, but he is of course wary of what the ramifications may be for reasons I will list below. First, the nature of the transaction: setting MH up with a friend of a friend (FoaF). Friend thinks I'd be just PERFECT for FoaF. Friend has only met me once. Brother, being a founding member of the Society for the Prevention of Unwed Sisters, is weighing the risks:
MH might start with her "femi-nazi" crap, thereby scaring off the only prospect she had, and embarrassing Brother. I'd do my best to keep my mouth full of food, and just enjoy my $500 meal. Promise!

FoaF might not understand that MH swears constantly, and is not capable of reigning it in unless The Kids are around, and even then she is guilty of slight fuck-ups when officially dog tired from being prodded, nagged, nudged, teased and basically abused for 8 hours straight. True.. What's he trying to say?! For chrissakes, Fuck that guy if I can't even swear sometimes. Who is he to judge me? He probably swears all the time too, but just doesn't want a WOMAN who swears, isn't that right?

FoaF might be too successful for MH and her "tree hugger" habits. Successful men don't like tree huggers. They want regular women, you know the ones who "take care" of themselves. I take care of myself. Why do men act like women are disgusting vessels of venerial disease unless we follow some sort of regiment of personal "hygiene" as prescribed by MEN? They all have different expectations, usually based on what type of pornography they happen to be obsessed with at the moment. After listening to my short lecture, Brother innocently shrugged his shoulders, said I'm talking like a feminazi again and all he meant was that I ought to get a haircut and maybe wear something other than X's old Carhardt work pants. That's fair, I guess. But those pants sure are handy.

Finally, FoaF might be religious. As in born-again. Would MH offend him, thereby ruining the solid friendship Brother has built with Friend, who is also born-again? Of course I would try not to offend him, but what about his offending me? I think this relationship is doomed.

Poor brother. He is so desperate to rid himself of the burden of a single MH. Life was much easier when I was married, b/c X was very handy around the house, truth be told. He even took care of Brother's house problems, leaving Brother time to coach football and meet Friend, who fancies himself somewhat of a matchmaker.

I figured out the brutal reality of dating. The golden rule. When a woman is desperate for a man, she'll do anything to get one. Or him, if it's a particular man. But if it's just any man, she will become more desperate. He can smell the desperation, and he knows he can do whatever he wants then. Because she just wants a man. Well, my problem is I just can't allow myself to be desperate. I'd rather die alone with fifty cats than fashion myself differently in order to secure a man. I do love them and admire them for the little things they do and how they act and what they are capable of. And I dream about how wonderful life is when one is around and both of us are happy and content. But I can't deny that I don't need one. So it appears to me that since I can't become desperate, I'll never have that type of happiness. I guess it's my choice?

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