Saturday, May 1, 2010

Cinqo De Mayo or however you spell it

Stupid old me, thinking about myself others everywhere suffer and prosper. My inertia is little more than boring.

But I will relate my experiences over the past month or so....

I will never forget DC. Thank God I don't live there. You can't really appreciate a place if you live there.

Here I am in the dry old desert, deluged with reports of atrocities perpetrated by everyone from the illegal border crosser to our Fair President. Nobody knows the real state of life in the desert by the border unless they live here. Without living here, they cannot judge. They can make generalizations, but those never hold water. Have you ever had your fence run over by a drunk illegal immigrant with no license and no registration? What do you think would happen? Well in the desert, you are out of luck. Police find out where the illegal immigrant lives and sends him home. No paperwork involved. Fix your own fucking fence.

I want out of here. But of course there are no jobs. I'm stuck in this shithole.

Minchie is picking at her dinner. We had a scare last week. We were on a walk and while I stopped to talk to a neighbor, Minchie chewed on something unknown and started to gag. It drew my attention back to her, and I asked her to spit that stuff out. She didn't. My conversation continued until Minchie gagged again, as she attempted to eat more of something littering the alley. Perhaps I waited too long, but at that moment, we walked on.

Early the next morning, I awoke to animal gagging. I thought Kitty was hacking up some godforsaken hairball, and made a mental note before falling back asleep to check for hairballs before stepping on the cold concrete of my bedroom floor. But the hacking continued, and I was forced to turn on the lamp. Bile and puke was everywhere. Kitty! WTF???? I grabbed Kitty. Kitty! Why???? I had you shaved! Why are you doing this??? Then Minchie gagged and threw up a big load of yellow gruel on my comforter to match the rest of the yellow-green goo ALL OVER the place. 3 o'clock, that was just what I needed. I grabbed Minchie and loved on her. Please Minchie, what is wrong???

I tried to clean up the goo, but it was everywhere. I found pieces of plastic from some fucking place, three different colors of it. I also found broken glass!

My Minchie! She was so sick.

I took time off work to take her to the vet, who found that all of her troubles had "passed," and that would be $184 please.

Heracles was sympathetic, as usual. He wanted to know what I had done to make her comfortable. Well we all know how irresponsible I am, but I told him the truth. She was comfortable. Sorry to disappoint.

My sister tried to make me feel guilty today. She decided that I am what is wrong with this country, because people like ME are driving down the value of HER house over a thousand miles away. I asked her if she wanted to sell her house any time soon. Well, no, but still! I wanted to tell her to fuck off. I want to sell my house right now and guess what. You can buy one just like it for 100,000 less two houses away from me so I'm thinking the bank who appraised the fucker can have it back.

One positive thing is that all of this makes my sister feel very superior to everyone else, which is what she has been striving for her whole life. She has worked VERY hard to finally feel superior and someday I will give her props.

Heracles. Nevermind. I am too ashamed to even discuss him.

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