No choice but to walk

Here is the situation right now.

I owe over $170,000 on this house, which is worth less than $80,000. A foreclosure on my street with the same floor plan as this house recently sold for $76,000, and THAT property had been updated. My house has never been updated.

Yeah, I'm underwater. But when I started having trouble making the payment, I tried to get the loan modified, and I was willing to honor the whole amount, if they would extend the life of the loan in order for me to be able to afford the payment. That did not work. The mortgage company "approved" a modification in which the principle of the loan was raised (due to late fees and god knows what other charges) by almost $5,000 and my monthly payment actually increased! I spoke with them the other day and I was told that we will need to wait a year in order for them to revisit the subject of modification.

So here I am, savings are gone. Already got a loan on the 401k. Cannot get a roommate. House is starting to fall apart. I feel bad, but I have no options left. A collector called today. He suggested a short sale. "Why?" was my question. Well, he said, it might save your credit, you can put this behind you, bla bla bla. Plus, as it gets closer to foreclosure, they may be able to explore more ways of settling the debt. I reminded him that as far as anybody knew last week, the only way we have is for me to simply pay the mortgage on time every month, and if I can't do that, they will have to "send it to the attorneys." He had no response other than that he was sorry this was happening. I told him that I am too.

So, looks like my dream is starting to become my nightmare. All I wanted was my own home, and I was so happy when I "bought" it. I have learned many things about myself these past couple years, and I'm not proud that I don't know anything about managing too much debt. I am not proud that I bought a house that I simply can't afford.

And nobody else can afford it either. What really kills me is that if I had waited for six months, this house would have been $30,000 less at least, I would have had more money to put down on it too. And the payment would be manageable. But I guess thinking about that isn't going to do me any good.

Thank GOD I live in Arizona right now, along with so many other people who paid too much. Because right now they can't go after me for "deficiency" which is the difference between the amount I owe and the amount they ultimately receive, I think... All I have to do is make sure that the house has not been neglected and all of the appliances it came with are still here when they kick me out. I'll definitely have no problem with all of that, since I won't have a mortgage for the next couple months. I'll be able to afford to fix these things I should have fixed a LONG time ago. And I will. And I know that whoever is lucky enough to get my house will be really happy here if they keep the kitchen tile intact but update EVERYTHING else!